I want to have your abortion
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
