are you still at the devil's house?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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