the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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