We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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