Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
