I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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