I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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