the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
