very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
