She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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