You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
