i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
