Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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