You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize