Ambien. No doubt about it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
