his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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