i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
