Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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