A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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