do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize