Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize