I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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