I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
