You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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