Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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