only if we run a train.
done.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
