Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
