There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
