Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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