The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
