I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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