I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
