Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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