you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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