I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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