4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
