I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
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My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
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Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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