How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
