Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
