On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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