You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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