I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize