accomplished twins. life is a go
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
