Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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