i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Mom said you looked used
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
