do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Randomize
