Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
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Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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