why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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