He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
you didnt know i had herpes?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
