I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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