piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
