The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you would pick up someone in the library
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
