problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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