Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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