okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
