i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
