I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
