Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
