everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
