Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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