i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
