i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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