Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
