oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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