His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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