What a fucking waste of an outfit
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
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So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
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i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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