I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
