we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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