I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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